Discover methods to help you up your evolution this year.
"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going." ― Jim Ryun
Hey readers, it's been a while! Soz for the radio silence, the last couple of months have been a bit of a roller coaster as I entered the new year engaged to the love of life (yay!), but jobless after being made redundant (boo!)... And then thankfully getting my job back after a week into January (yay again!).
In the midst of these changes, I started getting all ~philosophical~ and questioning what it is I actually want to do with my life - what is my life's purpose? Am I making the most of my precious time on earth?!
Do any of you feel the same? Being a month into 2023, I'm sure some of us have already been guilty of making empty promises to ourselves at the start of the year, "this is definitely my year - I'll be healthier, more motivated and will conquer the world mwahaha!" - but we all know that achieving our goals takes a heck of a lot of determination, and without a regular routine, our goals are bound to fade away quickly. Which is why the key to building habits is in repetition, repeating something to the point that it becomes naturally part of our lives, where it feels weird when we don't do that thing.
For some of you, this might mean boundaries on screen time or limiting the amount of sugar you put into your body. Ultimately, you just want to stick to your word as much as possible, even when you don’t want to. Below are 9 habits and mindsets to pick up so you can make the most of this year!
1. Finding the time to self-reflect
With the distraction of a 9-5 job or just general responsibilities in day-to-day life, it's easy to dismiss time for self-reflection as we would like to use the time to unwind and relax instead. But without self-reflection, how else will we get the clarity to better understand ourselves?
Whether it be journaling, meditating or taking a walk to clear your mind, make sure you find the time to sit with your thoughts and feelings. Yes it can be scary, as being honest with yourself might mean having to revisit situations or memories that make you uncomfortable... but don't be afraid to tap into your feelings, for the greatest mistake is to deny yourself the truth. It is only by facing your demons are you able to let them go.
Make it a habit to journey into yourself often, you are a whole universe to explore and there is so much more you are yet to discover. #YourMindMatters
2. Moving your body
Needless to say, you only live once and your body is the only body you'll ever get to live in. Your body is a temple - treat it well and it will treat you well. Make sure you energise it regularly so you can get the best out of it!
If you're already a health conscious person, then great, you can skip to the next point :) - but if you're not, it's time to start taking better care of your diet, eating your veggies and moving your body more in 2023!
This year, dedicate at least 20 minutes of your day to some form of exercise - such a short amount of time can increase your heart rate which in turn increases your endorphins, creating a happier you! Working out is incredibly rewarding as you're pretty much guaranteed to feel better after it. Get into the habit of shaking your booty so often that when you go an entire day sat on your butt, you feel the need to get up and start twerking...
3. Saying no to situations that burn you out
Being a natural people pleaser myself, this one is a tough one for me! I have the tendency of over-committing to work or social situations and feeling burnt out. This year, I've decided to get into the habit of supporting my peace by not becoming extremely busy. This means preserving my energy by saying no more often (without sounding like too much of a diva, of course).
Be mindful of the times that you feel the need to make sure others aren't upset by you when you say "no" - ask yourself whether this situation is worth your energy and be honest with the answer. Learn to stop agreeing to things that drain you, your rest should be a higher priority. By saying no, you have more time to focus on your own personal growth and emotional intimacy in your existing relationships. Give your time to what is important and repeatedly let go of everything else.
4. Releasing the need for external validation
In a world where we constantly feel the need to have to prove ourselves, it is easy to fall into the trap of living within other people's values rather than our own. Yes, we all want to be liked and we all want to belong - but only taking action for the sake of external validation is a quick way to fall into a vicious cycle of needing more of it.
Teach yourself to stop listening to the feeling that you need to perform for others, and find out what matters to you, not anyone else. Build your own idea of success and appreciate the small steps forward in your life - you might feel like there is still a long way to go to be where you want to be, especially when other people are being critical of your path, but block out the noise and stay aligned with your goals. Remind yourself to regularly release the need for approval - as long as you accept yourself, that is all that matters.
5. Removing yourself from drama cycles
Do you ever feel like that you are constantly being sucked into someone else's drama? Cycles where that someone pulls you into their issues but never seems to want to seek solutions? These are the type of people who fuel their lives on drama no matter how much they claim to hate it. As they say, there is no smoke without fire...
If love and peace is what you are seeking in your life, then removing yourself from people who love drama is absolutely necessary. Be aware of people who love to gossip about others and get embedded in other people's personal lives, then make a habit to step away from them before you get absorbed. Bonding over someone else's problems provides escapism, but it doesn't create healthy relationships. This year, avoid getting sucked into other people's negative energy and focus on your self-improvement instead.
6. Surrounding yourself with people who love the authentic you
You know those people who make you feel like you can 100% be yourself around them? Where you can bare your naked soul and you feel completely alive? Those are your people, they empower you. Make time for these magical beings, for life is too short to not spend it with the people you love.
Invest your emotional energy wisely this year by building with those who are not afraid to grow, as you cannot build deep connections with those who are disconnected from themselves. It is those who are open to growth that know how to love and be loved.
Don't waste your energy chasing anyone or begging anyone to stay, and leave what isn't for you. Constantly remind yourself of your worth and save space for people who matter, the people who wholeheartedly love you for who you are.
7. Discovering things that make you happy, and doing them
Ah that age old question - if you had all the time and money in the world... what would you do?
Actively trying to explore passions and hobbies can be difficult when we are restricted by time or money, but where there is a will, there is a way.
If you feel that life is unfulfilling and you combat that feeling by mindlessly consuming content all day, you need to get rid this habit immediately. Loving yourself requires fighting through these defences and investing in things that stimulate you and contribute towards your long-term happiness instead.
There are so many things in this world for you to try out- take the time to discover things that are nourishing and good for your soul. 2023 is the year for you to figure out what brightens your day, because you deserve to be happy!
8. Letting go of perfection
Ever drive yourself mad by obsessing over unnecessary details that literally will not make any difference to the world? One for me was my need to ensure my bed had no creases, my bed didn't feel tidy until every single little crease had been flattened out (damn you linen bed sheets!).
Like Reuben in Along Came Polly, one day I simply decided that I no longer wanted to waste 365 mornings a year excessively tidying the bed. Looking at my imperfect looking bed stopped bothering me - and all I needed to do was change my perspective.
No matter how things appear on the surface, no one lives a perfect life. In fact, the "perfect life" doesn't exist, all that matters is what is perfect enough for you. Make a habit of adapting to change, whilst also accepting what cannot be changed. You can't aways control every aspect of life, but you can learn to love it just as it is.
You create your own reality so it is important to choose the words that you speak to yourself wisely. Whatever happens in your inner world reflects in your outer world, so don't be so hard on yourself when things didn't turn out as perfect as you would like them to be. Remind yourself to choose peace over perfection, always.
9. Listening to your intuition
Call me crazy but I believe that we all have that inner voice that knows exactly what is or isn't for us. That gut feeling that we get and sometimes ignore because we are too scared to go down the path it is leading us.
Notice when you are feeling emotionally rushed and jumping to conclusions - this often happens when you are not tuning into your intuition properly. This year, don't be driven by your fears and listen to your intuition relentlessly instead. Reject anything that is not in alignment with the higher vision that you have for your life, and take the risk when your intuition says yes.
Pay attention to your soul's guidance - you are always being guided if you listen carefully. Wake up every morning with set intentions for the day, allowing your intuition to lead the way. Trust your own instincts, and in time you'll find yourself feeling overwhelmingly grateful for the life you have created.
Will you pick up these habits in 2023? Let me know!
You can find me on Instagram @mindfulmonkay :)